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It involves a dash of making yourself vulnerable while showing them that you are hella strong and wouldn’t be upset by a rejection. If someone has just asked you for clarification, give it to them! I trust you guys to figure out what that means for yourselves. Are you terrible at communicating your thoughts or your personality in writing? There’s no shame in not being a wordsmith (or just being shy), but it can be helpful to give the person you’re texting a heads up so that they don’t get paranoid that you suddenly hate them… I wouldn’t screenshot a personal confession someone has made and forward it to all of my friends—that’s fucked up and disrespectful.Words make me bold, make me stronger, and hitting on someone through them is worlds easier than telling them in person. I get called in at least twice a week to help a friend write a text to the girl or guy she’s crushing on. Explain that you’re still getting to know them, or you aren’t sure what you want right now, which are shitty options to hear but are necessary if they’re the truth. Women often have trouble telling men to back off because we’re socialized to think the enthusiastic attention of a man is the ~end goal~ regardless of how much we actually like them. And rejection, when it comes, is much less painful to process when it’s letters on a screen. Someone with no stake in the relationship is less likely to worry about getting rejected and can help you put together a clever comeback or semi-aggressive flirtation. Ration your usage of winky faces, smiley faces, etc. You will get nothing from being patronizing or aloof. And fuck, if you do like this person, why would you not want to tell them? Also because calling someone out on their behavior can lead to them behaving like a violent, misogynistic dick. Pretty much all the men I’ve dated will put off an awkward rejection conversation and just let me keep texting them for weeks. If at any point your texting buddy would like to stop texting because they’re at work or they’re with friends, stop texting them. It doesn’t necessarily mean they no longer want to talk to you—people have actual lives and sometimes flirting needs to take a backseat for a few hours, or even days. Getting that right is a delicate balancing act and can take a while to master—I don’t have any magic wand advice as to how to nail it. I’m a HUGE fan of being gently assertive: letting my interest be known but not in a way that demands anything of my texting buddy.

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